There is no such thing as safe. She skims posts
from a variety of her Facebook groups, mothers posting notices on another dead
child, another dead baby. One posts of their son who died a week prior, only
twenty-eight days old. A preemie, an infection entered his lungs, and he hadn’t
the strength to recover. Another memorializes the first anniversary of her
daughter’s accident, after toddler hands pulled a boiling pan from the stove,
causing third-degree burns to thirty percent of her body. The scalding water had
swollen closed her eyes.
When
I walk into the family room, she is sitting with laptop, weeping.
You
need to stop reading those, I repeat.
The women appeared in the kitchen. They pushed
me away from the counter. The lot of them. My mother-in-law and her sisters.
Came rushing. They pushed me out into the living room. No, they said, no. They
would take over from here. I had everything under control. I was annoyed, but
not enough to challenge them. They had taken over. My newborn son and wife were
asleep. I moved downstairs and sat at my desk. I ignored their clatter. I
opened up my laptop and into my most recent file. I poked at a few lines of prose.
I prodded. The novel shuddered, some. Its surface tension shifted, akin to what
Neo could see at the end of The Matrix.
I could see stars.
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