Do not say I am insensible. Here is the demon
trapped under glass, and here I am, demiurge of the simulacrum, having given
him universe within universe: ground (carpet), sky (jarred air), and above,
this heaven through which I move unfettered, buying lubricants, eating
pomegranates, each return to the windowless room revealing him still here, my
rash action perhaps once its own apologia yet this is no longer that; grown
deliberate, the truth is I am afraid, amygdala by coincidence or design about
the size of him and lit, his body coded in my genome, become muscle memory the
way, when I’ve come for a man once, I come more readily for him again, control
being thus illusion, yes? What is good and what is craven war inside me, given
as I am to sensate bondage, profligate, sugared, respondent to the slightest
touch. I type long into the night, let beloveds enter as blips of light, drink
too much wine. Perhaps he is unkillable; perhaps, as my desert foremothers
swore, he possessed a pre-mortal existence to which he will return—and if he
feels no hurry, who among us can fault him? Sweet realm of stars and honey—
(“Towards An Ethical Religiosity”)
There
is something of the third full-length poetry title from Boise, Idaho poet Kerri Webster, The Trailhead (Middletown
CT: Wesleyan University Press, 2018), that could be encapsulated into the last
quarter of the single-stanza poem “This Is Manifest,” that reads:
I was a woman of such secret knowledge
as you may think mad.
I don’t know why, when we die,
all our skulls aren’t jeweled.
Sometimes I was so enamored of sky
I felt my milk might come in.
Searching
for information on Webster, a poet I hadn’t previously heard of [although I realized I wrote about her previously, here], I’m surprised
to see so little online (including any potential interviews), especially given
that this is her third collection, following We Do Not Eat Our Hearts Alone (University of Georgia Press, 2005)
and Grand & Arsenal (University
of Iowa Press, 2012). There is such a force displayed in the poems in The Trailhead, one that writes on
sexuality and power, meditating on larger concerns around ethics, from stories
of spinsters, conversion, religion, righteous action, desire, wilderness and
poetry. Webster’s poems flood their narratives with discomfort, and an unease
that can’t be turned away from, taking stock of the climate and providing
insight into the unexamined. As she writes to close the poem “One Eye Dilated”:
“It has taken me forever to be obedient to the beautiful, rather than the easy,
things.”
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